REBORN

Just a suddent, I remember that I had a blog, although I had never touch it for almost 2 years...

After read back those blogs i posted, old memories has "flashed" into my mind. There are so many things happened in my studies life. So many until I can't remember all.

But, no mater it is a bad or a good memories, undeniable, all of them are extremly precious to me.

The one and the only UNI-life memory...

期待真的好难。。。

有时真得很需要人安慰的时候；你以为会安慰你的人却不会这么做。。。
有时真得很与要人聆听心声的时候；你认为了解你的人却不会洗耳恭听。。。
有时真得很需要人陪伴的时候；你最需要的人却不在身边。。。
深深的期待，同时也变成了大大的失望。。。
期待真的好难。。。

Final exam...

Now already week 12, as the time passed, I’m getting nervous, because the final exam getting near. I think I’m became more hard working than last semester d, however, my result getting worse then last semester. I do not know why it will be like that, may be majority I spend my time on reports but not study, and that why I do not have some improvement on my study. And as you see, the final exam is coming soon, and I still left 3 weeks to “recall” all my memory back… I do not know am I able to finish all the syllables, however, I will still try my best on it, cos I really really really hope that I can avoid supp this semester!!! I hate to study alone while all your friends are enjoy their three weeks holiday! The feelings are terrible, horrible and vegetable!!!

That's how I felt...

Chel chel phoned me today, purposely, ask me so directly the reason I’m being so down. And I just replay her that nothing happened, just too tired and tension, so bogging, that all. Actually, I have lots of thing to share but, all the words stuck in my mouth automatically once I heard her voice. I do not know how to express the feeling, and therefore tell nothing.

I knew that I being so emo recently; and yet I knew the reason why I felt and act like that; however, I do not know the way to control, minimize and release them… or clearly said, I don’t dare to tell due to some reasons...

Majority the problem come form me myself, I knew it, so I can not complain too much on that...

Question mark...

Sitting at the computer lab now, same way, same thing, same feeling… no exception.
I know it doesn’t go into the right direction that it should go; however, I do not know how to correct it. All the negative thought suddenly popped up, and it happened all the time…
And I always question myself, is it myself suffer myself?
Really felt so tired to try d, I really hope that some day it have some miracle happened. But when is it?
I wonder….

Night mare...

Just woke up form my nap, and having a night mare…
Do not know why I having this kind of night mare, however, It already tells me the end of the story that I used to predict….
I always looked forward for some thing; however, I scared to take some action, because I do not like “uncertainty”; just like Mr Patrik said today I’m that type of person who always sticks to traditional way, where they do not want to take risk to solve problem…
Haiz……
So if I keep on this kind of attitude, it is hard for me to change, and get some thing that I really desired….

隔离感；代沟；多心？？？

隐性的墙壁；跨越不了的河流； 还有深深的“自我保护意识”；
这都是我近来所收到的隐性的讯息。。。
具体来说：这些都是所谓的距离感；代沟；
而这些似有似无的状况已让我深深的感到不知所措；
也让我不知应采取什么样的反应来面对这一切。。。
努力？忽视？ 还是 顺其自然？
这一切的一切，我已深感心有余而力不足了；
也没有足够的勇气去打乱现有的程序。。。
所以只好保持着冷静；平淡；漠视；以及顺其自然的心静观其变；
但其实；
内心依旧期待明天会更好！！！