My Inn33r tH0ughT$

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Sick of Study...

Recently is Utar's exam week, also the suffer week for student, aspecially those student who never lisent to the class during lecture = me!!!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! I'm so sick of study now! Yesterday study till 4:30am,today till have to wake up and study again.... OMG!!! I'm going crazy d....

If after tomorow , we can finish all subject then never mind, but we still left Public Relation!!! Damn it!!!

sob sob... tired d... Arrrrr, when can i rest ???!!!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

O00... Wao, there's been a long time I haven't blog d. Last time, is because the internet service at PV is not available, and now is due to our final exam! Stupid exam, force me to sacrifice my time, even my beauty sleep just to PASS THE EXAM!!! Again! not to get a VERRY GOOD RESULT, just to PASS ONLY!!! Damn it!!!

I suffer one night haven't sleep and fight for my Atomic Structure final exam, and you know what, Ver Bish Deh!!! Actually, in the bottom of my heart, I strongly hope that I can score a B for this subject, cos I 'm quite intrested in this subject. Furthermore, I'm not last minutes!!! And you see la, I even can not answer 60% of the paper!!! @#$!"$%*?>!"£$%#...

Who can I blame now? Miss Chee???!!!? Because she gave us those stupid question? Or may be she don't gave us any tips?? No, I don't think so... Because I knew that, that is all my fault!!!

People concentrate in the class, I'm chatting with friends!

People burn mid night just to finish the tutorial question, I'm watching the movie!

People care about their report, I care about my stomach!

***Speechless***

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Friends...

When you need some one to help you;

When you need some one to care;

When you need some one to listen to you;

A friend is always there!!!

For all my friend, may be I'm not so close with you already, or may be both of us had changed; but for me, it just the changes for my habits or the way that I express mt feeling, I want to be myself but not your shadow!!! Eventually, there were no changes in the bottom of my heart!!! For me, you are always my friend, therefore, if you need me, tell me, I will always be there to listen to you! That the promise that I had gave you! From now until forever!!!

Solution...

Wa000... so many things that happened today until I confuse that today is a happy day or a sad day... But, lucky, I voice out to him d due to YC ( I don't want YC to be suffered among us), and I hope that he will understand all the advice that I had gave him, also hope that he and she will change, that the hope from me toward them!

Actually, this morning, I'm still wonder should I tell her? And why should I tell her? But once I had communicated with L3ng, I understand d... L3ng told me that, if you want to be good and close friend to one person, you should be "flexible", especially when you met some one who is more "fierce" then you!!! Also, one things, the most important things is her words that totally change my thought and make me "wake up" suddenly... L3ng told me that "I don't care how my friend hurt me, as long as he/she is my friend, I will be willing to forgive them, and always listen to them, that's the only things that I could help them. At the same time, I will tell them: you are just one of my friends, I still have other friends, thus, I have my own freedom to join with them. But, once you need me, tell me, I will always be there to listen to you!" Oh My God, so TOUCH!!! so LAM!!! And I can't deny that's the main reason made me change my mind... Thank you so much, L3ng!!!

That why I voice out d, I had overcome d! I tell him all my feeling and others' feeling as well. And yet, I'm wait the couple to change, hope they could discovered their mistake and correct it otherwise, I got nothing to say d...This time is the last time that I done some thing to them d, and I don't want to repeat again...

Finally, I want to thank all of you who gave me courage and support, in order to let me know that I'm not alone, I still have friends that support me, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Especially, Ch3l ch3l, SW, L3ng, Anne, wcw, YC and those who had support me... Thank you !!!

THAT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU ALL, REALLY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Black & White; True & False; Who is right; Who is wrong...

Don't know why, today's really down! And all of them were related with "friends" !!!!!! I'm so head act now, some times I really think that I can ran away from those problem...

Just now, YC had tell me the problem between us and the couple in our house. She is my roommate actually and we used to be a very close friends... But now she had change and so do I. We not so close any more, and yes I myself agree that I'm not so care about her feeling any more...

YC said that I'm vy "xiao qi" and that really hurt me! Is that my false??? Did I done any things that sorry to her??? Yes, Yes, I have change just because I felt alone to stay beside her, she wound care about my feeling once she got her BF! So, is there necessary for me to keep on staying beside her and wait until she needs me??? Should I keeping stay at the same position until she discovered that I'm still waiting for her care??? I don't want, I felt very tired and hurt...This is unfair for me since I'm so care about her!

This is her second love, and yes i agree that last time, when she was with her first love, I every day, every time, every second stay beside her, just like a bee with a flower, until people can differentiate she is paktoing with me or her BF? But others do not know, actually that time, she's suffered a lot because of her BF's family, thus, she needs some one to support her, to gave her care, to let her know that there still have someone on her site, she's not alone!!! And that was my position, that why I always share my real feeling to her, join her so that she wound felt alone!!! She's need me!

But now is different, she got her new BF d and they only see each other in their eyes! So what for I'm still stand at the same position and waiting for her??? Some more, I had tried before, to wait until she's understand.But she let me disappointed... Because the answer is " She wound look at me at all, and that really hurt..." Yes, I knew that I'm So "xiao qi", so "mei yi qi", so "da pai", but you wound understand if you never try such feeling before...Some more, that time I'm not so close with ch3l ch3l and can you imagined how I passed through that time? especially during the study week??!! Only tree of us stay in the house and they only saw each other in their eyes. Then how about me? I'm so hate that time, but I force myself to be understanding, thus, I forgive her. And I really can!!! But, this time I'm not willing d, not because of ch3l ch3l or some one else, it's because I need respect!!! I'm not your dog, I'm a person, I need your understanding...

When you hit a ball, the ball will bounds; yet if you hit it strong, it jump high and finally you will hurt yourself when it bit you, and that was my thought and action now. She hurt me too much d, too much until I don't know how to tell her what she had done. YC said that because I got ch3l ch3l and therefore I leave her, I can only said you are wrong! You don't understand my real feeling how could you judge me like that? You do not know how I passed through those suffered day, how could you said that i'm so "xiao qi"? You really hurt me, just only because I don't want to express my feeling toward her... I thought you can understand but I'm wrong... I wound balm you, cos I know you have your own thought on that, but please forgive me that I can't solve this problem immediately, I really need time to overcome it...

If I could, I really hope that I can cry now, but unfortunately, I'm don't know how to cry, also if I cry I wound cry in front of people, but inside my heart...

P/S: If I hurt some one, I sais sorry to you first, because that was my feal feeling and I wrote it when I'm so so so down... Sorry if I had hurt you

Down...

Don't know why, I'm quite down now... May be I miss home now, or may be I got no mod to study, or many many reasons that I can not figure out, but one things that I really confirm is I'm not happy now...

Usually, when I'm not happy, I will try to come down first and after I'm ok d, I tell some one who understanding me. But as I searching around, I think I don't feel like I want to share with them, not because I dislike them, but they're not understand me very well...

I do not know why, but well, that me. And I think only my family know the "symbol" that I want to carry out, such troublesome, right? But I really don't know how to express it when I'm down. Some time, I really need some one to ask or even care, then only I can say out the feeling, but most time I'll hide it also due to some reasons...

Haih...

Monday, April 9, 2007

Crazy Chong K...

Hehe, yesterday we (I think there were 16 of us) went Green Box" to celebrate Kenny's birthday and OH MY GOD, it damn funny and crazy!!! Me, ch3l ch3l, L3ng, Anne,sw and YC play until so crazy!!! We jump up and down and sang on the sofa, and throw the food every way! We shout until all of us no sound to talk to each other, hehe!!! That's very crazy, very very crazy, but DAMN funny too!!!

Although we play until so crazy, but on the other site, (Girls' gang), they seem like not feeling like that...I do not know why, but I don't care, cos I already ask them to sing together d, but they don't halau me also, so I give up d, sound so bad, but it's true! If I care them too much, I woun't be able to play until so high!

Furthermore, there were some people in our group wish to sing actually, but due to some reason, he could not sing... pitiful, so I'm so glad I cound be myself now. I can play as crazy as I wish cos no people will control me!!! kekeke! There will be better if I cound find the Mr. Right that can tahan my crazy action, wuahahaha.....!!!

Any way, that a funny day for me, and I hope that the day like that can happen in the future again when some one's birthday come. kekeke!!!

7 peoples pack in one car...

( Ops... 2 can't see inside this pic, keekee)

The journy to Sg. Wang!!!

WaloU....Such A FunNy posT! But nice also, hehe (*_*)

Ann3, KeNnY, L3ng, m3, RacH3L, cHun WaH & YonG Chen ( the one who taking this photo)ChanG ChaNg !!! ===the place we Ch0ng K===
Chong K at GReeN BoX (^o^)* CraZy taking foods & drinks, C0s it was FREE OF CHARGE, kekeke!!!