<<我不习惯>>

绝对不说“习惯就好”

那是一种委屈

一种认命的委屈

请务必高声咆哮：

我不习惯！

Home & Familly

When young, I always wonder how's the outside world

Will it fell free, fresh, colourful, or even dangerous

But...

No matter how it look like or felt like

I'm still hope that some day in the future

I could fly away from home and see through the outside world...

That the thought when I was young

Now,

i had grown up and yes my dream come true

I felt excited at the beginning

because

Finally, "freedom" is in my hand

Every things in this world will change

People too

As the time passed, I have changed

I'm not longer excited about outside world

I miss my home town , I miss my home, I miss my family...

I miss them so much...

I wish could have a pair of wing

so that I could fly back to my home...

The place that make me felt warm, sweet, protected, and never alone...

HOME IS ALWAYS THE BEST!!!

The day that full with feeling...

Mostly, people will "felt" the day that he or she had passed, no matter happy, sad, stress, angry, or even embarrass; and usually made a conclude like, "Oh...! today is a happy day!" @ "Sob...sob... i felt upset today!" before the other day come, and this included me, of course. But, if you ask me what is your fell toward this day, I'm sure will ask you back "Sorry, but which part you ask?" 1st, then only i answer your question. Because today i had experience so many things in a day...

Firstly, is unhappy and angry! (x,X)#
Why? Because of my "dear" lab partner la!!! Actually, before i "explode" i already not so happy because some body had "snatch" my place, thus, make me didn't have place to sit and keeping halau by others... and this is not the 1st time d... that why i felt a bit "bu shuang" d...
but it still not the real reason that make me explode. the real reason that make me so angry is my lab partner. i had work so hard and finally get a "Metaphase II" in my slide. and during the time i went to find Dr. Poosporagi to view it, the guy had took it without my permission. Actually, I'm still OK at that time, but when i ask him for the reason , he told me that he want the 5 extra mark, and after hearing his answer, i straight away exploded!!! Ehh... you think you are the only one who wish to get 5 mark is it, others no need la??!!! Dam you la!!! "Fakeyou "!!!
I'm so angry man!!! Actually, he used to ignore my feeling since the day we become partner. And every time i have to force myself to forgive him in order to finish the experiment smoothly. I don't like argue, especially with friends. But today i really can't tahan d... if i tahan him, in other way round, i must forgive him! I don't want! Some more this is not only my business, it's also related to others, L3ng. If i kindly forgive him, indirectly will be sorry to L3ng!
Luckily, he had apologized to me after he knew I'm angry,. May be there were some body passed him the msg, but i was eventually felt OK after he said sorry to me. Just OK only ya, at least he knew that he had done some things wrong! Some thing that not respected others' feeling...

Beside that, i also felt worried, scared, stress and happy today. (~''~) / (^_^)~* due to the "clear therapy" that i had join today.
Actually at that time, i felt worried. because i scared that some one is " bu shuang-ing" about me, and i don't want to fight wit he /she... that why I'm stress, i don't dare to ask about his/her feeling. Until, the CT program that help me to overcome this kind of negative thinking... During the progress that make our own therapy, I'm actually released some stress through creating my own therapy, and balance myself! and lucky, it works!!! i felt released and comfortable...

Well, that the 2 main things that happened today and both of them made a big different change in my mod...Well, the day almost passed d. Hope in the future days, i could maintain a nice mod, and thus, good for my brain and body...hehe (~,~)
o

Boy Friend...

" MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL, WHO IS THE BOY IN MY WORLD??!!"
Hehe, i think majority girls will think like that when reached her "period of love", right? Well, included me of course, hehe...
Today, sw, anne, L3ng, Chel chel and me was discussed about guy, and indirectly make my mind came out such question "when can I meet my Mr. Rite?". Recently, I'm really worried about this question.
May be others will think like I'm a "hua chi", but you know what, in the true world, if a girl reached 25 years old, her "value" will drop, not just a little, but a very big fall and at that time, it is hard for you to search a nice guy...
Actually, i never worried about this kind of question before. Not totally ignore it la, but i will tell myself like "Hey girl, don't think too much! concentrate on your studies!" but now, i had influenced by my friends and housemates where they make me felt like i have to find a boy friend now... hehe, paiseh la!
But the problem is i don't dare to do some things that is "over" my principle, also, i knew that I'm not the type that guys will like. I mean like i didn't have a beautiful face, nice body shape, and i even don't know how to "sha jiao", and that make me obtained an "negative charge" to opposite sex, hehe... ~,~'' Oh my GOD, its sound sad...!!!
Its OK, never mind, Antimony!!! you can one, just because it haven't reached you time only... Wait, and some day you can success!!!
p/s: Hope so... hehe. GOD BLESS ME!!!

Confidence...

I'm a girl that lack of confidence, that's the things i knew before, and it turned worse recently. Some time, when i stay alone, i will think like why am i so lack of confidence?And finally, i found out some possibility that make me lack of confidence. May be, it is because the unfamiliar environment and the studies stress, or may be my family was not beside me, and many many reason that i could explain it. But, the only things that i can confirmed is the pale pressure.

All my friends are very "geng" and majority of them have their own characteristic. They're very good in study, communicate or even love (That true, hehe!), thus, make me felt like i don't know many things. =,='' Although i knew that they don't mean to let others felt stress, but me myself just can not ignore it... I will automatically, compared myself with them. Stupid right?

Well, that me... A girl that lack of confidence...

Couples...

Recently, there were a hot topic among my friend which related couple. Why? Hehe, its due to the couple that stay together with us. And you know what, they can paktoing till they only see each other in their eyes and ignore others feeling.
Well, at the beginning i felt very happy coz she had found some one who really love her, and i strongly believe that every things will be maintain just like usual. But as the time passed, it proved that my thought was wrong. She start to ignore my feeling and always said and do some things that really hurt me. I felt sad and lonely, but i can't do any things, i couldn't cos she is my friend and i don't want to hurt her... Finally, i choose to accept and make myself understanding. But, it really really really tired...
I wish i could tell her my real feeling, " can you change a bit, some times i really can not tahan you d..." but once i feel like i want to voice out, i will force myself not to say any things cos i don't want our friendship turn bad. And this kind of situation keeping happen until my housemates ask me, why you want to do so? you have to be yourself, try to voice out, don't force yourself again... and that was the first time i discovered that there were some body who still stay at my site, I'm not alone! i felt warm and i really thank them so much...And they are the only way that i could released all my real feeling and released some stress, indirectly balance myself.
Thank you so much! thanks for giving me the way to "share" my thought...
Finally, i still want to sorry to her, cos i had complained so much about her. Hope that, some day she could discovers and change. No need too much, but try to be understand...

My 1st time...

Well, this is the first time i create mine own blog. Actually, i have been thinking to own a blog for such a long time d, but due to my broken english, i not dare to have one, untill now. Rachel, my housemate encourage me, and she said that, don't mind how others will think about you, just do it! So, what you see now, i have a blog, a blog that belongs to me, Hehe!