Sick of Study...

Recently is Utar's exam week, also the suffer week for student, aspecially those student who never lisent to the class during lecture = me!!!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! I'm so sick of study now! Yesterday study till 4:30am,today till have to wake up and study again.... OMG!!! I'm going crazy d....

If after tomorow , we can finish all subject then never mind, but we still left Public Relation!!! Damn it!!!

sob sob... tired d... Arrrrr, when can i rest ???!!!

Long time no see...

O00... Wao, there's been a long time I haven't blog d. Last time, is because the internet service at PV is not available, and now is due to our final exam! Stupid exam, force me to sacrifice my time, even my beauty sleep just to PASS THE EXAM!!! Again! not to get a VERRY GOOD RESULT, just to PASS ONLY!!! Damn it!!!

I suffer one night haven't sleep and fight for my Atomic Structure final exam, and you know what, Ver Bish Deh!!! Actually, in the bottom of my heart, I strongly hope that I can score a B for this subject, cos I 'm quite intrested in this subject. Furthermore, I'm not last minutes!!! And you see la, I even can not answer 60% of the paper!!! @#$!"$%*?>!"£$%#...

Who can I blame now? Miss Chee???!!!? Because she gave us those stupid question? Or may be she don't gave us any tips?? No, I don't think so... Because I knew that, that is all my fault!!!

People concentrate in the class, I'm chatting with friends!

People burn mid night just to finish the tutorial question, I'm watching the movie!

People care about their report, I care about my stomach!

***Speechless***

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Friends...

When you need some one to help you;

When you need some one to care;

When you need some one to listen to you;

A friend is always there!!!

For all my friend, may be I'm not so close with you already, or may be both of us had changed; but for me, it just the changes for my habits or the way that I express mt feeling, I want to be myself but not your shadow!!! Eventually, there were no changes in the bottom of my heart!!! For me, you are always my friend, therefore, if you need me, tell me, I will always be there to listen to you! That the promise that I had gave you! From now until forever!!!

Solution...

Wa000... so many things that happened today until I confuse that today is a happy day or a sad day... But, lucky, I voice out to him d due to YC ( I don't want YC to be suffered among us), and I hope that he will understand all the advice that I had gave him, also hope that he and she will change, that the hope from me toward them!

Actually, this morning, I'm still wonder should I tell her? And why should I tell her? But once I had communicated with L3ng, I understand d... L3ng told me that, if you want to be good and close friend to one person, you should be "flexible", especially when you met some one who is more "fierce" then you!!! Also, one things, the most important things is her words that totally change my thought and make me "wake up" suddenly... L3ng told me that "I don't care how my friend hurt me, as long as he/she is my friend, I will be willing to forgive them, and always listen to them, that's the only things that I could help them. At the same time, I will tell them: you are just one of my friends, I still have other friends, thus, I have my own freedom to join with them. But, once you need me, tell me, I will always be there to listen to you!" Oh My God, so TOUCH!!! so LAM!!! And I can't deny that's the main reason made me change my mind... Thank you so much, L3ng!!!

That why I voice out d, I had overcome d! I tell him all my feeling and others' feeling as well. And yet, I'm wait the couple to change, hope they could discovered their mistake and correct it otherwise, I got nothing to say d...This time is the last time that I done some thing to them d, and I don't want to repeat again...

Finally, I want to thank all of you who gave me courage and support, in order to let me know that I'm not alone, I still have friends that support me, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Especially, Ch3l ch3l, SW, L3ng, Anne, wcw, YC and those who had support me... Thank you !!!

THAT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU ALL, REALLY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Black & White; True & False; Who is right; Who is wrong...

Don't know why, today's really down! And all of them were related with "friends" !!!!!! I'm so head act now, some times I really think that I can ran away from those problem...

Just now, YC had tell me the problem between us and the couple in our house. She is my roommate actually and we used to be a very close friends... But now she had change and so do I. We not so close any more, and yes I myself agree that I'm not so care about her feeling any more...

YC said that I'm vy "xiao qi" and that really hurt me! Is that my false??? Did I done any things that sorry to her??? Yes, Yes, I have change just because I felt alone to stay beside her, she wound care about my feeling once she got her BF! So, is there necessary for me to keep on staying beside her and wait until she needs me??? Should I keeping stay at the same position until she discovered that I'm still waiting for her care??? I don't want, I felt very tired and hurt...This is unfair for me since I'm so care about her!

This is her second love, and yes i agree that last time, when she was with her first love, I every day, every time, every second stay beside her, just like a bee with a flower, until people can differentiate she is paktoing with me or her BF? But others do not know, actually that time, she's suffered a lot because of her BF's family, thus, she needs some one to support her, to gave her care, to let her know that there still have someone on her site, she's not alone!!! And that was my position, that why I always share my real feeling to her, join her so that she wound felt alone!!! She's need me!

But now is different, she got her new BF d and they only see each other in their eyes! So what for I'm still stand at the same position and waiting for her??? Some more, I had tried before, to wait until she's understand.But she let me disappointed... Because the answer is " She wound look at me at all, and that really hurt..." Yes, I knew that I'm So "xiao qi", so "mei yi qi", so "da pai", but you wound understand if you never try such feeling before...Some more, that time I'm not so close with ch3l ch3l and can you imagined how I passed through that time? especially during the study week??!! Only tree of us stay in the house and they only saw each other in their eyes. Then how about me? I'm so hate that time, but I force myself to be understanding, thus, I forgive her. And I really can!!! But, this time I'm not willing d, not because of ch3l ch3l or some one else, it's because I need respect!!! I'm not your dog, I'm a person, I need your understanding...

When you hit a ball, the ball will bounds; yet if you hit it strong, it jump high and finally you will hurt yourself when it bit you, and that was my thought and action now. She hurt me too much d, too much until I don't know how to tell her what she had done. YC said that because I got ch3l ch3l and therefore I leave her, I can only said you are wrong! You don't understand my real feeling how could you judge me like that? You do not know how I passed through those suffered day, how could you said that i'm so "xiao qi"? You really hurt me, just only because I don't want to express my feeling toward her... I thought you can understand but I'm wrong... I wound balm you, cos I know you have your own thought on that, but please forgive me that I can't solve this problem immediately, I really need time to overcome it...

If I could, I really hope that I can cry now, but unfortunately, I'm don't know how to cry, also if I cry I wound cry in front of people, but inside my heart...

P/S: If I hurt some one, I sais sorry to you first, because that was my feal feeling and I wrote it when I'm so so so down... Sorry if I had hurt you

Down...

Don't know why, I'm quite down now... May be I miss home now, or may be I got no mod to study, or many many reasons that I can not figure out, but one things that I really confirm is I'm not happy now...

Usually, when I'm not happy, I will try to come down first and after I'm ok d, I tell some one who understanding me. But as I searching around, I think I don't feel like I want to share with them, not because I dislike them, but they're not understand me very well...

I do not know why, but well, that me. And I think only my family know the "symbol" that I want to carry out, such troublesome, right? But I really don't know how to express it when I'm down. Some time, I really need some one to ask or even care, then only I can say out the feeling, but most time I'll hide it also due to some reasons...

Haih...

Crazy Chong K...

Hehe, yesterday we (I think there were 16 of us) went Green Box" to celebrate Kenny's birthday and OH MY GOD, it damn funny and crazy!!! Me, ch3l ch3l, L3ng, Anne,sw and YC play until so crazy!!! We jump up and down and sang on the sofa, and throw the food every way! We shout until all of us no sound to talk to each other, hehe!!! That's very crazy, very very crazy, but DAMN funny too!!!

Although we play until so crazy, but on the other site, (Girls' gang), they seem like not feeling like that...I do not know why, but I don't care, cos I already ask them to sing together d, but they don't halau me also, so I give up d, sound so bad, but it's true! If I care them too much, I woun't be able to play until so high!

Furthermore, there were some people in our group wish to sing actually, but due to some reason, he could not sing... pitiful, so I'm so glad I cound be myself now. I can play as crazy as I wish cos no people will control me!!! kekeke! There will be better if I cound find the Mr. Right that can tahan my crazy action, wuahahaha.....!!!

Any way, that a funny day for me, and I hope that the day like that can happen in the future again when some one's birthday come. kekeke!!!

7 peoples pack in one car...

( Ops... 2 can't see inside this pic, keekee)

The journy to Sg. Wang!!!

WaloU....Such A FunNy posT! But nice also, hehe (*_*)

Ann3, KeNnY, L3ng, m3, RacH3L, cHun WaH & YonG Chen ( the one who taking this photo)ChanG ChaNg !!! ===the place we Ch0ng K===
Chong K at GReeN BoX (^o^)* CraZy taking foods & drinks, C0s it was FREE OF CHARGE, kekeke!!!

O00oo....YC's coming !!!Fu Yoh, AlL red todaY!!!The presence for kennY = Puma's bag!!!BirthdaY boy -- KenNy Ye0H & m3... (^o^)L

Such a beautiful bag, right? keke!!!

The CRAZIEST group among 16 people!!! Wauhahahahahaha!!!

Again, the most enjoyable group, YEAH!!! (>v<)Y

Wuahahahaha!!! HappY to see So m@ny of us ch0ng K together!!! T(^v^)T

The M0sT ^HANDSOME^ singer in our gr0uP
**** Y0nG CheN SaN****

A faTher witH his "daughters", wuakakaka!!!

vvv tHis is whaT we called Teenager vvv

CutE onot??? yihihihi

Pic of Kenny's birthday...

KenNy & the most SPECIAL's cake 4 him...

Fu Ye0H!!!Wauuuu.....The need for kenNy, chang shoU mee, made my Monkey CW, YummY =pRed egg 4 KeNnY, inside got lucky XY's eggs yo, guess which?eating chang Shou meeSpecial agar-agar 4 kenny, made by mei mei.

Sh0u Ba0 4 KenNy, Wa00000....!!!!special birthday card for kennY Ye0H!!!the 0tHer site of the birthday card.KenNy with His BirtHday's card!!!KenNy + shou Ba0 + agar-agar + Pig's card (birthday card) R@cHeL & sw

Evelyn & I ^^

Shoping Day again...

Today is Sunday and I myself suppose to stay at home and study cos the final exam will be coming soon! But due to some reason, me, ch3l ch3l and sw had went out to shopping. Actually, we plan not to buy any things d, therefore, KLCC is the primary choice of us. But after discussed, we had change our mind cos the stuff at KLCC is very expensive, thus, Mid Vally become our target!!!

"OH OH OH, mid vally again, that mean that I have to spend a lot of money again..."and really, my sense had come true, I spend money again...my heart bleeding again!!! After I calculated at home, I had spend about RM208.00, which included the contact lens (RM100.00), and except that others in unnecessary things. Sob Sob... I cry for my dad, he give me money to buy food and books, but his daughter do not know how to appreciate but wast them to buy luxury stuff....SORRY, I TRY TO CONTROL NEXT TIME...

I'm sure if some body will ask me, why you know there is the MUST for you to save money, but why you still keep on shopinmg like that? ok ok, my dear friend, let me tell you one story... When a caterpillar want to change into a butterfly, it will eat a lot of leaves. And yes, when a girl want to change her "history" she need some sacrifice too, and that is money!!! Without money, a person can't change too much, without money you can't do any things!!! That the real world!!! In fairy tails, Cinderella has her fairy mother to help her, but in the true world the fairy mother has replace by money... Sad, but you must accept it!!!

Now, the only thing I wish is that I can change, not excelly like Cinderella, but perhaps to a person who has her own test and confidence!!! That the presence from god to me...

Happy Birthday Kenny Yeoh...

Well, today is the my house leader's, Kenny Yeoh's birthday! All of us had gather together and celebrate whit him. Although we had already divided into 2 major group, obviously, but as long the birthday boy felt happy, them I will felt not thing on that!

1st group which is the Lady's' group, they cooked for kenny, and there had 4 round of them, where 1st round is "chang shou mian", 2nd is "presence" time, 3rd is "shou bao", and last round is "agar-agar".

As for 2nd group, the cake's group. We had buy a chess cake for kenny, cos today is his 21 birthday, thus, cake is the most important and necessity stuff. Beside that, we also play with cream, we it made birthday boy's WHOLE HEAD FULL WITH CREAM !!! kekeke, it was fun, cos this is the first time, i pushed some one head on cream, hehehe!!!

Well, that the short summary for kenny's birthday and yet tomorrow we still have 2nd section of celebration!!! Wao000, I'm so exciting now!!!

Special day...

Today is the special day for me, cos I 've made a very very very big decision which is

cut my hair!

At the beginning, I'm totally didn't plant do to so, and I just follow ch3l ch3l go PV 5 to find sw and discuss about the "Kose" stuff, bla...bla...bla... and don't know why they advised me to cut my hair, and yes I had cut my hair now, some more, I change from long hair to short one!!! Which is the hair that I keep for 6 years... SHOCK MAN!!!

Honestly, at the beginning, I'm vy worried abt that weather the short hair suit me or not, therefore, I don't dare to do ant action on that. But now is different, cos got some body "puss" me and support me, that why I've change my mind! Thank you so much, ch3l ch3l and sw...Tx lot!!!

Now, I'm a girl who have a short hair now, and all my housemates said that it's fresh, and finally I'm not so worried now. I don't know that is a press or not, but for me, this is the first step that I'm try to change myself. To me, of course I hope that I can look better with I new hair cut, but I'm still lack of confidence...In my heart, I hope others can support me with their heart (that mean tell me the true), thus, I will have the courage to improve myself in the future...

"Ai mei 3 ren zhu"...hehe ^^

L3ng lui RacHel & ShU WoaN!!!

R@cHel & I

We again...wuahaha

M3

Shoping Day...

Tried man!!! my feet are tired and painful now, also, my body is so dirty, and full with dust. But I'm still happy cos I can go shopping with my friends at mid valley...keke Before that, we had go sw's house and put some make up. This is the 1st time i "ICI" myself and "WAOO!!! " is the only words that I can explained it, keke...

Shopping is happy but waste money too... Before I start my "fighting", I had take out RM350.00 from the ATM machine and actually, I plan to buy bag shoes, tao fu, ect. But once I go there, the things that I buy was totally different and yet much more expensive then the baget that I have set!

First of all, is the facial stuff -- Dermalogica. Before that, I had told Ch3l ch3l that I want to change the brand and therefore she suggest dermalogica to me, bla...bla..bla..., and finally, I plant to buy it! OH MY GOD, you know what, it cost RM150.80, and only last for one month....Some more, this is my one month food fess aaarrrrr.......!!!!! So my heart was figth for quite a time and finally i brought it...Sorry, bapa and mama, I don't mean to waste your money, but girls like beauty, included me!!!

Further more, I had brought a shirt and mascara. Although I only brought 3 things, but do you know how much money did I spend? I have RM300.00 and after I count my money at home, I only felt RM70.00, which mean that I had spend RM230.00 just for 3 things... My heart was bleeding...

But, that's the MUST when you want to change!!! So I promised myself, I will OH...no is MUST, be more hardworking and be careful when the facial stuff, therefore, I really hope that my face turn better, otherwise, I will vomit blood till fainted!!! Also, I will take this good chance to keep fit for the presentation at week 14!

So, GOD PLEASE BLESS ME!!! First, let my face become leng leng; second, slim down! Thank you so much!!!

UtaR's Pic

Taking pic at UTAR's corridor

Hehe, chess...^^

Quick L3ng! We're waiting for you!

Hehe, finally I get L3ng & AnnE pic... keke

Who's hand is that??!! Sure not mine...


These is the pictures that we had taken near UTAR's corridor, not special meaning, jost fun...keke (^_^)**

Conflict in my heart...

Well, this situation has happened since the beginning of the new semester and getting worse now. It was the conflict between my friends...also my heart...

Actually since the beginning of the new semester, I got my "new Geng", and therefore I have "leave" my old friends. It was not because I fight with them, its because my course was different with them, and it is hard to me to find them often, that why I mixed with

new friends now.

For me, I felt that was OK, as long as I still can see my old friends and said hi to them. But the problem is my new Geng don't like them...Not totally dislike la, but "bu shuang" lo. And they always group together to discuss their "ability", and yes I'm included also.

I didn't show any emotion on my face, but actually inside my heart, I felt conflict, sad, and guilty. I felt like I had betray my old friends. I felt so evil... I can't deny that what they said is totally wrong but since they tread me so good, therefore I felt sorry to them...

Well, that was the conflict in my heart...

I'm so Stupid...

Every weekend, every time, every second, every moment, when this time was come, I'm sure think that I'm so stupid!!! What time is that? I think my friend you all must know, report time of course!!!

Personally, I like doing experiment (if I got the mod, keke), but one things i hate the most is doing the report! Because I hate those Introduction, Discussion, Calculation, Conclusion, Question and all those sion/tion things. Although I knew that steps for the experiment, it's does mean that i understand its "inner meaning", i mean what things that it want to prove, that why I suffer a lot while doing report...sob sob

But no matter how i suffered, that is the necessity for a science student, thus, i can't run away from those stupid things...I've trapped on it! It was so stress! Especially when you discovered that all your friends having a professional skill on their work, it make you felt not only stress but STUPID also...

Every time when I doing, perhaps not doing, is copping the report, I sure will ask myself,

"Am i in the right course now?"

"Why Science student have to do all those crazy research?"

"Can I have a job in the future if I keep on the plagiarism like that?"

"Does my friend think like I'm make use of them? I don't mean that...I don't want! But I really can't finish without their help..."

Although i didn't say out all those question, but i really struggle inside my heart, and finally i have made a conclusion ...

I'm So STUPID!!!

Picture with Friends -- Y@M Ch@ at PV (02/04/07)

1 solou + 2 sopo here...keke, acting like the prisonor

M3 & sW, H@ppY C@m cH@ing at PV 5

Delicious =,=...But you can see without eat, pitiful. (tAkeN by mE)

KeNNy + cHun WaH = 2 ah Beng, wuahahaha....

Of course we wound forget my dear housemate too, R@cH=L

Expecting...

Today is 03/04/2007 d, and after few days, my friend, Kenny's birthday will coming soon, and every body was figured out what present should be present to him, and what present he will like the most...

Usually, if he or she is a "normal" friend, all of us will like "Oh, XXX's birthday is coming soon, faster go and buy a present for he/she!" But kenny is different, not because he is my BF or relatives, but he's a very caring person and he always take care about others, that why during his birthday, majority will like ready to give him a big surprise on his special day.

Actually, the most difficult part for me is to choose a present to him. I'm a person that do not know how to choose a present to others, especially guy... hehe, that true!!! i used to think to buy him a new bag, but others also, cos kenny really need a new bag now, keke! Then, i plan to present him a new spactical but its too expensive d, and i can't afford it. Also, under ware, hohoho, i dun know his size, wuahahaha!!! Paiseh...And you know what, I think until my brain almost stuck d, and finally, we plan to go chong K!!!

Haahaahaa, (^o^)~* i like this plan actually and i'm very expecting for it! I like that feeling that all friends gather together and play together, and chong k has included as that kind of activity, kekeke!!! So so so, my frind! Let us expecting together for kenny's birthday! To kenny and To me! CHONG K BAN SAI~~~

1st day of April...

When we said 1st of April, "April fool"will automatically pop up from peoples' mind. And yesterday is the April fool for 2007, people were fooling around with their friend and family, but as for me, I had been fooling around by the 2 chemistry full report!!!

Since 30 of March, i sit at the same place till 2 of April, rusihing reports, but still not yet finished also!!! OH MY GOD!!! I sit until my budd almost flat d...sob sob... Some more, the report is copy from the senor's work and it make me felt very very very guilty...That is experiment 10.

As for experiment 9, this time is the first time that I try to create and calculated the result by myself. But, I had done so many mistick that cause my partners suffered a lot, S00rY!!! I don't mean to do that de, very sorry...

Aii... before that i actually do not like April Fool so much cos i always keep fooling around by others, until now, this moment, I suddenly have this kind of feeling " Why I have to do the report? Why can't I just celebrate the April fool like others? Its boring ..." But it's too late d, cos 1st of April has passed d...

So my friend, please don't ever think that the celebration is not important, appreciated any festival that you can enjoy now before it is too late...

H@ppY Apr!L F0oIII (x_X)~#